Shit List November 13 2014

1. Stephen Harper
2. The Fords
3. Jay Lomax
4. NCFST
5. Superintendent
6. Toronto Police 22 Division
7. St Joseph's Health Centre
8. Aboriginal Affairs
9. #YWCAToronto
10. Dr Eric Hoskins

Unexpected YWCAToronto visit

I arrived home today, November 6, 2014, to find a YWCA Toronto envelope at my door. On October 30, last week, I was hospitalized for a meltdown. The YWCA responded only today!! A week later!!
Before sharing the loveliness of the letter, there's a few facts you must know.

1. YWCAToronto has a habit of telling me the program rules then breaks them and upon being called on them they say they are sorry for breaking MY rules. One of which we both agreed was not showing up to see me unexpectedly.
2. Their only responsibility is making rental payments. The most asked question I get was what do they do for me??
3. They have been denied entry to my building to see me. On more than one occasion.

Hi Nadia,
We were made aware of recent concern regarding your mental health and we would really like to connect with you in person to help you access support services and to go over the extreme clean options.
I'm gonna stop here.
1. WHO BREACHED MY PERSONAL STRUGGLES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
2. NOW AFTER A HOSPITALIZATION, THEY SUDDENLY WANT TO HELP GET SUPPORTS
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO EXPERIENCE  A HOSPITALIZATION FOR THE IDIOTS TO DO SOMETHING
Back to the letter.
We are trying to respect your wish that we do not show up unannounced but due to recent events (MELTDOWN HOSPITALIZATIONS ARE EVENTS NOW?????) it was necessary today.
Would you be available to meet on Wednesday November 12 at 12 noon at YWCA Toronto (again I'd be catering to them)
Please email or call to let us know if this time works for you or to suggest a time that does work. (They know I have no phone and this is catering to them)
Nadia I have also included some information on the Gerstein Centre an organization that helps people who are experiencing mental health crisis. The crisis line is open 24hrs a day for support. YOU ARE ALSO ALWAYS WELCOME TO CALL US FOR SUPPORT. (1.ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????????????????? 2. THEY KNOW MY HISTORY WITH GERSTEIN)
THE PROGRAM IS MINISTRY OF HEALTH RENT SUPPLEMENT PROGRAM

ASHLEY NELSON
416-923-8454 x 437
80 Woodlawn Ave East
Toronto Ontario
M4T 1C1
anelson@ywcatoronto.org
www.ywcatoronto.org

October 30, 2014

I sent a few tweets to Ontario's Health Minister Dr Eric Hoskins that were suicide related and upon leaving City Hall, feeling calmer and not as hungry, I arrived home to find a police cruiser outside my building. They were there for me. They received the call from the ministry regarding my tweets. After I tried unsuccessfully to convince them I was ok, which they weren't buying, I grew increasingly frustrated. After a few minutes I went upstairs to my unit and smashed some plates. Because I was not happy. The original plan was to go home, and bathe. But the Minister and Toronto Police interfered which only added to my stress. That's when they came up and demanded I go with them to the hospital which I attempted to refuse so they restrained me ignoring my screams they were hurting my head which they later said they never touched it. Next thing I knew I was being handcuffed and escorted to the back of the cruiser. I managed to pull the cuffs off first then they tightened them and left marks. They had told me they'd remove the cuffs when I got in the cruiser. That didn't happen. They told me they'd remove them after I was checked in. That didn't happen. They noticed I'd calmed down but waited until I grew increasingly impatient before setting a new time which I took as an intimidation tactic. So I played along. I probably shouldn't have because I took it to a whole new level of discrimination. The cops also said it was my choice if I wanted to leave once I was registered. I was then escorted to the mental health emergency services unit part of the hospital. Where again I was not happy about having to stay. I kept fighting the staff (scratched 1 guard, bit another, kicked a cop and grabbed the other cop's parts) so I was placed in another restraint and this time hospital security joined the staff in holding me down to strap me up. Each time I tried to see what was happening, the hospital security guard who happened to be black, would put his hand over my face adding pressure to the tube going down the side of my neck on the same side as my shunt. I tried telling them about it but they said it wasn't hurting it. Then twice the nurse strapped my stomach area so tight making it hard to breathe which security agreed with. The second time she took longer to fix it because she didn't believe me.
Now. Keeping in mind there were 2 male police officers and 2 male security officers and only one female nurse dealing with me a person struggling with mental health especially PTSD and had long experienced great amounts of distress toward men. In trying to calm me down, the next thing I remember is the guard undoing my pants and when I tried to look to see what was going on, he slammed his hand shoving my face down and put his hand over my face so I couldn't see. From the little I could see, my pants were undone and the men in uniform were over top of me. Imagine how, if you were me, a 31 year old First Nations woman with no family or support, what that moment must've felt like for me.
Yea.
That is why Health Minister Dr Eric Hoskins took most of the spots on my ShitList last week. 

My experience with sexual encounters

My adoptive dad made me sleep beside him while he was naked in his bed.
While driving, I had to hold his hand as he shifted gears. If I refused I had to sit in the backseat behind him so he could see me
I reported many sexual assaults to police without any course of action
I had a stalker during my time in a homeless shelter during the infamous garbage strike which lasted for 3 days, 2 of which I was coming back from same area and third day a new direction to try throwing the guy off guard
A Furniture Bank delivery guy groped my ass each time he dropped furniture off to my new apartment yet nothing was done. So when I hosted a second housewarming and only another First Nations guy showed up, I was troubled. And upon describing what transpired, was it reported to police who again did nothing. Now I make sure I'm in public.
With respect to my adoptive dad, I reported it to CAS who inquired and I got punished and they were told that it was all in my head. So now I have serious trust and insecurity issues resulting in eating disorder behaviors.

Shit List October 30 2014

1. Ministry of Health
2. Dr Eric Hoskins
3. Ministry of Health
4. Dr Eric Hoskins
5. Ministry of Health
6. John Tory
7. Stephen Fuckface Harper
8. Dr Eric Hoskins
9. Mark Tishman
10. Ministry of Health

My letter to Councillor elect Justin DiCiano

As a 31 year old disabled First Nations client of YWCA Toronto, and a resident of your ward, I am sending this letter in a blog post because I feel I have done so much more than I've received from YWCA Toronto muchless anyone else in my life and it's really starting to  take its toll on me and my health which I rightfully believe is not fair.
Now, I must tell you that I am extremely happy that I got the candidate for councillor that I hoped for. I am willing to work with you, which, I am sure Peter Milczyn can tell you, is a very surprising, but bold move considering he never stood a chance at winning me over. Just wait until he discovers I also visit Queens Park!! I was also pleasantly surprised when you followed me on Twitter then favorited my drumming song I tweeted you the other day. I have found comfort in using Twitter as my sounding board engaging with police officials, government officials and have built a strong reputation as a strong advocate for myself, my building and others.
I was not always this outspoken, driven, or politically active. I was a shy girl who kept to myself. I kept silent about my troubles. I did what I was told and if I didn't, I suffered several forms of abuse. My family situation was different. I was adopted into a white family home. When I was 11, my adoptive parents divorced. I struggled to come to terms with that as well as my eldest adoptive brother going off to university. All of this led to pill popping. Pulling all nighters. Slipping up in grades. After 3 years of being tossed to 2 London Ontario group homes because my adoptive dad couldn't care for me anymore, I was sent to community living for 6 years. Then I moved to Toronto after I discovered my birthmom was alive and was instantly homeless when she claimed to not have room which later was translated to mean her addictions would've been revealed.
Why is this important? I'm sharing my most vulnerable side to provide you with as much information as possible so that, within your role as my new councillor, we can work together with my workers to shape my future into something I can be proud of.
Maybe I'm in way over my head. Maybe this is not what I should be doing. But can you really blame me for trying considering as First Nations people, we are often left to fend for ourselves?
I've shared some of my blog posts regarding my newly former property management, my never-ending unsolvable struggles with YWCA Toronto, ODSP, OPGT and the toll of Peter Milczyn's decisions to destroy my Stonegate Plaza which he told me about last October. The destruction began in July I believe. The grocery store closed in February. Sobeys is expensive. I am not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting yet, after many failed attempts to set things up so groceries are delivered, I am carrying groceries home after buying only as much as I can carry, which I prefer to call my college student diet. I shared those blog posts with Minister Dr Eric Hoskins who is a friend and the minister of health which provides YWCA Toronto the funding for the program I'm in. I have tried to talk to United Way because YWCA Toronto is under their umbrella. However my struggles continue piling up and I'm only able to use my phone to access internet because I haven't been able to pay my bill. I am working with my friend Ontario Ombudsman André Marin's staff as well as OPGT and Aboriginal Legal Services to  address these things. However I also live in bad conditions because my apartment has garbage scattered, because of things already mentioned as well as the fact that when my apartment is cleaned, it looks empty. Storefront Humber closed my file because I kept missing appointments because I was doing everything because everyone including me knows YWCA Toronto is clearly neglecting my case. My lawyer has been amazing but without a phone, I'm traveling everyday and after being apart of the Rob Ford and Doug Ford Must Go sit in, I am extremely exhausted and feel those who are paid to take care of these things and accuse me of not trusting them to do their job should be doing these things however that's not happening. I don't know if this is getting my message across in the way I had hoped it would. I understand I'm an adult and need to do some things for myself but the workers need to stop flip flopping about what their responsibilities are and totally disrespecting me, my situation, my feelings and my home.
YWCA Toronto 416-923-8454 Ashley Nelson or Ashley Brown ext 437/443
OPGT Olga Statkevich 416-314-3787
ODSP Keshia Alleyn 416-314-5040
ALST Caitlin Kasper 416-408-4041
Elana Laiken (Ombudsman staff) 416-586-3521
And yes I give full consent for you once your settled in at city hall to contact the above people to make inquiries.
I look forward to working with you. I hope to hear from you soon.
Congratulations Councillor DiCiano!!!
Nadia Joy Fordham
203-2 Kinsdale Blvd
Etobicoke ON
M8Y 1T7
@nadia_fordham
www.facebook.com/caitlinandshanesaunt
caitlin_shanesaunt@hotmail.com

My Connection to Creator

Back in 2009, I went to an Anishnawbe Health Toronto traditional healer. I was given my Spirit Name, Hummingbird Woman because of my free spirit. I was also given my colors. I was told that whenever I put tobacco down in prayer, there was nothing more powerful because of my connection. I can't begin to describe what happens once I've place my tobacco down in prayer. All I can say is I'm always left gobsmacked. For example, when NDP Leader Jack Layton passed away and his service was aired on tv, I went outside in full skirt and placed a tobacco tie under the trees on my property which I'd been caring for and brought back to life and I asked Creator to give me a sign that Jack had made it safely to the Spirit World and I didn't care if it was by having the wind blow through the tree or a squirrel. And before I placed the tobacco, two things happened. A squirrel went up the tree as the wind started blowing this particular tree. That's when I knew. Tears began forming in my eyes. And I also know that I'm speaking truth because a healer also told me that my throat hurts when I speak truth and my hurts constantly!! A lot of the things I have asked for (some without even having placed tobacco down) have come true much to my astonishment. Recently I've had dreams that have been inspiring but surprising because those sorts of dreams only come after I've inhaled the sage from smudging. I see things that will affect me or those I care about. The future.