Daina, you were taken so young, so soon. You were my dearest best friend. We did so much together. Celebrated so many milestones together. We laughed until we cried. We fought. We did it all. Then you moved away without any explanation. It was a hard adjustment. And although I learned to move on, I never forgot you. I always held hope that you would return. As years went on, and the more complicated my life became, I remember I would take the Vigon's dog out for walks because even back then I knew I connected with nature, and I remember walking and looking up into the sky and asking Creator to bring my best friend back to me and each day after, I carried on. When you were planning on moving back, I remember we had a school assembly and teachers told us of your cancer, and the reason you were moving back. Because I was not in the same class as those we once shared classes with, teachers allowed me to sit in on the assembly. I cried, but more than anything my determination for answers wanted to know why you didn't tell me you were moving, or why you didn't tell me you had cancer. I can't recall how long you were here again before you weren't, but I remember I was one of those students who was poking fun but I did it because I didn't understand and humor was my way of coping. The weekend before you passed, the guilt over poking fun about your cancer ate me up inside and February 10, after talking to our circle of friends, I vowed to apologize and talk to you to understand more, to be your friend until the end. When I got to school that Monday morning, the halls were quiet, the energy was calm, but like hospitals after or before someone has died, and walking out for recess, I saw groups of friends gathered together crying and although I thought it was strange, I went searching for our friends who were also crying, and hugging each other. "Nadia, there's no easy way to tell you this...we've been trying to find the best way..." was how they started. Naturally, I didn't take the news well, and the "cool" kids watched our friends tell me and they approached me. I finally got the strength to admit that I was ready to apologize and talk to you but now it was too late. Elsewhere on the same playground, my brother, despite being in high school, and had driven to my school once your brother, who was his best friend, told him, came looking for me to take me home. I went home, sat with the dog and cried until I fell asleep. Days later, when you're funeral had been arranged, everyone waited to see if I would be in attendance. When I showed up, I cried until the time our class performed the Camp Trillium song and then as we were leaving.
When Facebook was introduced, and I connected with old classmates, I instantly thought of you, and this time I speak of. I've never had a best friend since,but I have had and do have wonderful friends. In the many times I've packed up and moved, I've reflected and gotten so lost in thought, wondering what life would've been like for our friendship if you were still here. Now I'm 30 and days, weeks and months are rushing by so fast, it really makes me wonder and it scares me. I understand now why you chose to relocate when you did. I guess its also on my mind now that my failed reunion is coming to an end and I'm moving my way back to Simcoe. I know you're with me every step of the way and you've probably either cried, laughed or shook your head in disapproval over things I've said or done but its just not the same. Our friends have jobs, homes, families, children, and are doing well, and I am a complete mess with way too much reflection time!! I love you, Daina and always will. Best friends. <3 Until we meet again!!
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