Open letter to YWCA Toronto

Oh YWCA, where do I even begin?! I believe it was 4 years ago a worker told me my contract was only for a year and in that year they were supposed to find an alternative payment option. If I'm writing this, then you may (or may not) realize that never happened. I also asked to review my file, which I'm sure is very empty, and although I've been provided the delays of supposedly having to ask managers, it has yet to happen although I now also have a letter indicating I need to call the manager. If you incompetent morons think I'm sitting in the same room as Carolyn Rabbat who bullied me, you clearly don't know me. Fair warning, that's a phrase you'll see a lot of in this open letter. And I don't know what planet you're from but where I'm from, Earth, workers don't control the superintendents of their clients buildings. Those stupid consent forms you repeatedly ask me to sign?? I told you idiots you already had plenty of them distributed but oh no...you needed more, so much more my former trustee asked me to ask you to stop sending them because they were accumulating the majority of his desk. Oh and how could I possibly forget when I asked for you to ensure I had everything I'd need for emergencies, long weekend's and holidays you only did it at least 5 times out of 4 YEARS!! Then I get accused of not accepting support. Well actually that was a year ago but still relevant. What were you telling me at Centre Island upon my informing you a client was intoxicated?? Oh yes that's right. Keep my mouth shut. My mouth. My words. My eyes. I see something I speak. Don't like it, FIX IT YOUR GODDAMN SELF!!! By the way, I'm finished taking heat and battling with my doctor because I'm not eating. If you can ask me to sign consent forms, you can damn well get off your ass and ask other workers for help. Why is it my responsibility to do a case manager duty when you idiots accuse me of not accepting support?? I really don't care if you like this post or not. If you can't see beyond the anger, you don't deserve that job position. Yup that's right. I said it. I'm pushing you're buttons like you've pushed mine. Don't like it?? Then solve it and NO I am not telling you how to solve it or how I think things should go. I am not doing this for you. You accuse me of not trusting you so this is your chance to prove me wrong. At one point you understood my rule of calling me to let me know you were downstairs waiting to be let inside for meetings but now you have shown great amounts of disrespect by not only having someone let you in other than me, you also managed to bring your kid to my home unexpectedly and your fucked up manager Carolyn Rabbat basically shrugged it off but quickly dismissed my bringing 2 individuals to my meeting and one was a councillor, not to mention you also called  twice after a snow storm grocery shopping trip rant on Twitter caught your eye after promising me you'd read the tweets relating to help then called once and the next day  emailed and called again claiming you were concerned for my safety which you knew to be a way to get my attention but unfortunately for you I didn't fall for your crap and immediately went to the office. Where little Carolyn was waiting with one worker despite always mentioning how both had to be present all times, and bullied me and cornered me into apologizing. I am not an employee (I thank GOD for that!!) and I shouldn't have to justify tweets which can include personal thoughts to you or anyone else unless through court. Do you think broccoli would corner people into apologizing for tweets people send saying how much they hate the vegetable?? No. So I don't either. Not to mention you ask me to be open and honest and upfront with feelings. So if you're keeping track (oh right, sorry I forgot. You do nothing for me) I've done everything that's asked of me. But I am not changing anymore of myself for you. If you have insecurities don't take it out on me. If you're stressed, don't think by changing me you'll feel better. Just because you earn a living by telling me how to live because you can't find your own happiness from within makes you my permanent enemy. Because you don't want to change. You just want to continue being stupid. I don't cater to stupidity.
When employees of YWCA Toronto brag about what you are or aren't required to do within program responsibilities, that are also found on www.ywcatoronto.org then repeatedly accuse me of not accepting support, I laugh because I know it's untrue. I remember a specific time when I asked for help getting a fire extinguisher and you said that you'd have to ask then Carolyn said as the manager that because I have a love of social media that I could find an extinguisher myself. My response to that is simply: How is it you guys can accuse me of not asking for help when you have in fact stated that I have?? You say you aren't acting like social workers but you are. Then you say your role is case management but don't provide details and welcome venting about family and then twist my words to your advantage. But fools, you're twisting of my words just shows me that you have no reason to classify me as someone with severe mental health issues because you've twisted my words and focused on my attitude, hygiene so you can keep me as a client to earn more money.
You clearly don't know me because although you acknowledge how many resources I've gained both political and through police, you still feel the need to manipulate me to do things by saying the ministry of health isn't changing your schedule. That's not my problem. I've suggested you advocate but you shrug it off.
I finally reviewed my file. Unfortunately I got no surprises. There were references to me being diagnosed with schizophrenia, all of my family's mental health and addiction struggles and involvement with CAS. But as your client for housing, my housing issues are practically invisible. Yet you show up to my place and accuse me of not trusting you by not accepting support. How is asking for help getting furniture and a fire extinguisher not asking you for help or better yet not trusting you enough to ask for help purchasing these things?? Especially when this is what you've said is part of the job you are paid to do.
Let's not even talk about how one of my first workers left the program because SHE WAS IN CANADA ILLEGALLY!!!!!
Not helping me when I clearly ask, delays in providing my file, showing NO respect to my family or apartment, controlling the role of one of my previous superintendents, bringing your kid to my apartment unexpectedly, then breaking your own rule of both workers must be present for meetings, denying a city councillor to attend a meeting, gaining access to my building via another tenant to do a scheduled visit, and asking me to keep quiet about an intoxicated client during a trip, not doing anything about tenant I knew in shelter who would purposely follow me in my building and who approached me repeatedly to interact despite my attempts to ask her to stop, which made me feel like a prisoner in my own home. You asked me or bullied me into agreeing to not share my experiences within the involvement but it's my story. If you are troubled by my sharing these stories maybe you should look at improvements to prove me wrong.

Forever Broken

Two days ago my world was ripped apart. Native Child threw a dart that shot through my heart. But they never cared. They never wanted me there. Some say my theory isn't realistic. But like other predictions, their opinions change quick. Now I have this my give a damns busted no holds barred attitude. People still find ways to blame me shielding you from your truth. January 21, 2010 Jay Lomax had opportunity to do his job. Instead I became the worker doing everything, going nonstop. No thank yous, no debriefing, nothing. It was like watching a movie with a heartbreaking ending. Breaching client confidentiality repeatedly, ignoring firsthand witness reports of child abuse, asking for my personal information including if I was in a relationship and pregnant, denying me a worker despite being all about culture and family, not to mention putting in court papers my mom's mental health struggles and her substance abuse issues and repeating them for all 3 of my sister's kids, then telling me people change. Apparently the attitude changed once Toronto Police apprehended my niece. The workers at Native Child claimed I was speaking out of resentment towards my mom who abandoned me after birth because I have unresolved issues with her. It wasn't until I read how my mom manipulated London CAS then years later Native Child that I thought she used sexual intercourse to gain custody. Such a strong claim I know but Jay was fired from his previous job for having sexual intercourse with a female coworker so anything's possible. During my fight for access with my secondborn nephew I had a hearing with CFSRB. In the paperwork there's incriminating evidence of workers spying on my Facebook. It was a positive post because I checked with reliable sources before posting. So their best defense was to tell me I have access until November then in a plan of care in July I was told my last access would be in August. That happened August 11, 2014.