My experience with sexual encounters

My adoptive dad made me sleep beside him while he was naked in his bed.
While driving, I had to hold his hand as he shifted gears. If I refused I had to sit in the backseat behind him so he could see me
I reported many sexual assaults to police without any course of action
I had a stalker during my time in a homeless shelter during the infamous garbage strike which lasted for 3 days, 2 of which I was coming back from same area and third day a new direction to try throwing the guy off guard
A Furniture Bank delivery guy groped my ass each time he dropped furniture off to my new apartment yet nothing was done. So when I hosted a second housewarming and only another First Nations guy showed up, I was troubled. And upon describing what transpired, was it reported to police who again did nothing. Now I make sure I'm in public.
With respect to my adoptive dad, I reported it to CAS who inquired and I got punished and they were told that it was all in my head. So now I have serious trust and insecurity issues resulting in eating disorder behaviors.

Shit List October 30 2014

1. Ministry of Health
2. Dr Eric Hoskins
3. Ministry of Health
4. Dr Eric Hoskins
5. Ministry of Health
6. John Tory
7. Stephen Fuckface Harper
8. Dr Eric Hoskins
9. Mark Tishman
10. Ministry of Health

My letter to Councillor elect Justin DiCiano

As a 31 year old disabled First Nations client of YWCA Toronto, and a resident of your ward, I am sending this letter in a blog post because I feel I have done so much more than I've received from YWCA Toronto muchless anyone else in my life and it's really starting to  take its toll on me and my health which I rightfully believe is not fair.
Now, I must tell you that I am extremely happy that I got the candidate for councillor that I hoped for. I am willing to work with you, which, I am sure Peter Milczyn can tell you, is a very surprising, but bold move considering he never stood a chance at winning me over. Just wait until he discovers I also visit Queens Park!! I was also pleasantly surprised when you followed me on Twitter then favorited my drumming song I tweeted you the other day. I have found comfort in using Twitter as my sounding board engaging with police officials, government officials and have built a strong reputation as a strong advocate for myself, my building and others.
I was not always this outspoken, driven, or politically active. I was a shy girl who kept to myself. I kept silent about my troubles. I did what I was told and if I didn't, I suffered several forms of abuse. My family situation was different. I was adopted into a white family home. When I was 11, my adoptive parents divorced. I struggled to come to terms with that as well as my eldest adoptive brother going off to university. All of this led to pill popping. Pulling all nighters. Slipping up in grades. After 3 years of being tossed to 2 London Ontario group homes because my adoptive dad couldn't care for me anymore, I was sent to community living for 6 years. Then I moved to Toronto after I discovered my birthmom was alive and was instantly homeless when she claimed to not have room which later was translated to mean her addictions would've been revealed.
Why is this important? I'm sharing my most vulnerable side to provide you with as much information as possible so that, within your role as my new councillor, we can work together with my workers to shape my future into something I can be proud of.
Maybe I'm in way over my head. Maybe this is not what I should be doing. But can you really blame me for trying considering as First Nations people, we are often left to fend for ourselves?
I've shared some of my blog posts regarding my newly former property management, my never-ending unsolvable struggles with YWCA Toronto, ODSP, OPGT and the toll of Peter Milczyn's decisions to destroy my Stonegate Plaza which he told me about last October. The destruction began in July I believe. The grocery store closed in February. Sobeys is expensive. I am not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting yet, after many failed attempts to set things up so groceries are delivered, I am carrying groceries home after buying only as much as I can carry, which I prefer to call my college student diet. I shared those blog posts with Minister Dr Eric Hoskins who is a friend and the minister of health which provides YWCA Toronto the funding for the program I'm in. I have tried to talk to United Way because YWCA Toronto is under their umbrella. However my struggles continue piling up and I'm only able to use my phone to access internet because I haven't been able to pay my bill. I am working with my friend Ontario Ombudsman André Marin's staff as well as OPGT and Aboriginal Legal Services to  address these things. However I also live in bad conditions because my apartment has garbage scattered, because of things already mentioned as well as the fact that when my apartment is cleaned, it looks empty. Storefront Humber closed my file because I kept missing appointments because I was doing everything because everyone including me knows YWCA Toronto is clearly neglecting my case. My lawyer has been amazing but without a phone, I'm traveling everyday and after being apart of the Rob Ford and Doug Ford Must Go sit in, I am extremely exhausted and feel those who are paid to take care of these things and accuse me of not trusting them to do their job should be doing these things however that's not happening. I don't know if this is getting my message across in the way I had hoped it would. I understand I'm an adult and need to do some things for myself but the workers need to stop flip flopping about what their responsibilities are and totally disrespecting me, my situation, my feelings and my home.
YWCA Toronto 416-923-8454 Ashley Nelson or Ashley Brown ext 437/443
OPGT Olga Statkevich 416-314-3787
ODSP Keshia Alleyn 416-314-5040
ALST Caitlin Kasper 416-408-4041
Elana Laiken (Ombudsman staff) 416-586-3521
And yes I give full consent for you once your settled in at city hall to contact the above people to make inquiries.
I look forward to working with you. I hope to hear from you soon.
Congratulations Councillor DiCiano!!!
Nadia Joy Fordham
203-2 Kinsdale Blvd
Etobicoke ON
M8Y 1T7
@nadia_fordham
www.facebook.com/caitlinandshanesaunt
caitlin_shanesaunt@hotmail.com

My Connection to Creator

Back in 2009, I went to an Anishnawbe Health Toronto traditional healer. I was given my Spirit Name, Hummingbird Woman because of my free spirit. I was also given my colors. I was told that whenever I put tobacco down in prayer, there was nothing more powerful because of my connection. I can't begin to describe what happens once I've place my tobacco down in prayer. All I can say is I'm always left gobsmacked. For example, when NDP Leader Jack Layton passed away and his service was aired on tv, I went outside in full skirt and placed a tobacco tie under the trees on my property which I'd been caring for and brought back to life and I asked Creator to give me a sign that Jack had made it safely to the Spirit World and I didn't care if it was by having the wind blow through the tree or a squirrel. And before I placed the tobacco, two things happened. A squirrel went up the tree as the wind started blowing this particular tree. That's when I knew. Tears began forming in my eyes. And I also know that I'm speaking truth because a healer also told me that my throat hurts when I speak truth and my hurts constantly!! A lot of the things I have asked for (some without even having placed tobacco down) have come true much to my astonishment. Recently I've had dreams that have been inspiring but surprising because those sorts of dreams only come after I've inhaled the sage from smudging. I see things that will affect me or those I care about. The future.

Meeting my nephew at Toronto Sick Kids Hospital for first time

May 20, 2009 is a day I'll never forget. Though I didn't find out anything until the next day. I was at Fred Victor Shelter on Caledonia in Toronto. My birthday was the following Monday. I had just came in from a walk with my then boyfriend. I noticed a note on the window of the staff office for me. That almost never happened. I asked for it. My mom wanted me to call her. That almost never happened. Staff came out and explained my mom asked that I call  with staff. That was weird. But I called in the office. No answer. I left a message. I went for a walk to the nearest payphone cuz I figured she'd answer. I was right. She asked if I was sitting down. I looked around. No seat. So I squatted. Told her I was sitting. Then she told me something had happened. I immediately thought my sister had gotten into trouble. Or my niece was hurt. Then she told me to be quiet. Then she said Shane (my nephew) at 2 months old had been rushed to Toronto SickKids hospital the night before. We talked about the events leading up to the incident and my sisters irresponsibilities in raising a child and started coming up with theories. I went numb. I began crying hysterically. I walked back to the shelter almost getting hit by oncoming traffic because I was crying too hard to be able to see. When my boyfriend saw me he let me have a moment in the outdoor smoking area then approached me. The minute he grabbed me from behind I crumbled and instantly tears turned to anger towards my sister. My mom had a room at the hospital to monitor family visits especially my sister and his father. I was introduced to my nephew for the first time on May 27, 2009. Seeing him try to fight with the machines around him....I can't....I can't describe it. I learned my sisters foster brother was charged. It wasn't until 2011 when I got the call that after continually searching the crime scene the police charged my sisters friends boyfriend, who, conveniently for me, stupid for him, revealed some extremely incriminating details during the trial of the foster brother that troubled me and made me think he'd done it but I didn't want to interfere. This incident is what damaged my  visions of the family I longed for. Forever. And I'm damaged. Forever.

Health

Back on August 29, I had an allergic reaction to something yet to be named. Then things went from bad to worse. I noticed my heart going faster. My hands were tingly and felt like they were on fire. Then my feet went the same way. I could barely hold things in my hands. Then my hands went numb. I wasn't sleeping. Unable to eat. Sweating profusely. Clammy at times. Dizzy and lightheaded other times. Extremely agitated. Extremely impatient even more than I normally am!! My doctor is sending me for an EMG. I have been extremely anxious and vulnerable. I have huge problems with the unknown and so for me, not knowing what's wrong or what to do to feel better is excruciatingly uncomfortable. I had an incident recently where I was bathing and had what I think was a panic attack despite no obvious signs of anxiety. The walking is off balance. It hurts to breathe. My chest area hurts. I had assumed it was my shunt. I thought that because of the similarities especially regarding urinary frequency and extreme thirst.
I've never had heart problems. I am absolutely petrified. And alone.

Toronto's Homeless Shelters

From 2007-2010, I bounced back and forth between Mary's Home, Evangeline, Women's Residence, Florence Booth, Fred Victor Bethlehem United, and YWCA Toronto.
Mary's Home discharged me for refusing to clean the crap off the floor left from my roommate. Evangeline discharged me because I argued with my roommate. Women's Residence discharged me the first time because I didn't like the males working there. Florence Booth discharged me the first time because of eye surgery. Fred Victor discharged me the first time because I was going to live with my sister. Then when that didn't work out, I went to Women's Residence and after awhile I got discharged for wearing MOCCASIN slippers in the dining area while other residents wore next to nothing or pjs!! And I was also discharged I'm betting because I had residents who were defending me with a staffer who went out of her way to get in mine and out me using her supervisor. Back to Florence Booth where by this time staff sat behind a desk the whole shift looking dazed and confused refusing to do anything else. And upon a medical emergency with a resident they did nothing as residents did all they could!! I got discharged for bringing it to management and Shelter Standards who did nothing. Went back to Women's Residence where I was discharged for NOT GIVING $5 TO A RESIDENT FOR THE BROKEN WATCH SHE GAVE ME!! Not to worry I let then councillor Adam Vaughan's office know along with telling them of the broken elevator that was broken for over 20 years!! 2weeks later getting my stuff they asked why I was going towards the stairs and mentioned the elevator had been fixed a week ago!! Lol. Then I went to Fred Victor. Staff ignoring my sexual assault while medicated, ignoring my witnessing a drunk guy in shelter causing his girlfriend to miscarry, my physical assault UNDER SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS, staff verbally abusing residents, staff eating residents food saved for dinner, then locking themselves in staff office and laughing as they ate them, sneaking deaf roommate back in after she assaulted me, saying it was extreme cold weather then refusing to discharge her once lifted, a student tried bringing our concerns to staff which resulted in him being let go, the staff condoned discrimination against First Nations residents. Went back to Florence Booth where a resident would watch people change, hovering over us, even as we slept, sometimes holding LIT CANDLES over us and upon reporting it we were told she wouldn't be discharged because we didn't like her. Back to Fred Victor. The staff I liked before we're either gone or downright nasty. A lot more fights were happening. So I forced myself to leave and stay in the bus shelter at 595 Bay Street until I went to YWCA Toronto. And you all know how that's going!!